Isn’t memory a strange thing sometimes?

I do NOT have a good memory. I have trouble remembering names, especially. I’m constantly making lists so I don’t forget what I need to do.

This week, however, I was working with my private duty patient. I put in a DVD for her–The Muppet Movie. I was cleaning up her room and all of the sudden found myself singing along to a song . . . that I’d sung in JUNIOR HIGH with our choir group . . . almost 25 years ago!! I remembered EVERY SINGLE word to that song, “The Rainbow Connection.” 

It took me back to some good memories of old friends, the guy I had a crush on at the time . . . and who doesn’t love the Muppets? :-)  

WOW–it’s been a while since I’ve written! Life seems to be speeding forward at warp speed.

Just a week ago, I had three speaking engagements in four days. Weather threatened to postpone the first two . . . I spoke at a MOPS group last Friday. We had snow on Thursday, and it started up again on Friday evening. The talk went well, other than that there was miscommunication between the lady who asked me to speak, and I, about the topic I was to talk about!

I thought I was supposed to talk about setting goals, and she thought I was going to speak about my new book and the tricky, sticky, uncomfortable situations that often come up during the holidays. I improvised–talked for a few minutes about setting goals, and then asked for questions about holiday situations.

I think I gave some good suggestions for  NOT having to travel six hours with a two-month old (and three other kids under the age of four!) to meet people the new mom didn’t want to see, how to deal with a sister-in-law who refuses to help with dishes, and several other situations. Everyone listened with rapt attention, leading me to believe every single family has SOME dysfunction . . . some families put the “fun” into dysfunction, while some add the “funk” to dysfunction!

Saturday my book signing was about 50 miles away. Snow/sleet/freezing rain was predicted. I called the lady at the bookstore before I left, and she assured me the weather was clear. It was . . . until we (Morgan went with me; she wanted to shop for a computer at the office supply store) got about 10 miles from town and the huge, sticky, wet flakes started falling! I stayed at the signing for about 30 minutes and then headed home . . . after Morgan picked out her new computer. She was thrilled to get that . . . sometimes I get really frustrated with God/weather/circumstances . . . but I try to remember that He has a plan in mind, no matter what happens . . . I guess Morgan was just meant to get her computer last week.  

I really enjoyed talking to the book group on Monday evening. I talked about writing and publishing and hopefully gave them some encouragement as to how to make their dreams of writing a book, come true. Writing has always been a dream of mine, and making that dream come true has been one of my greatest accomplishments.

As I was looking over my Christmas list the other day, it occurred to me that there are two types of people we tend to spend too much money on; people who we would spend any amount on, but are happy with any gift . . . and people who will not be happy with any gift no matter how much money we spend. 

I would spend any amount of money to get my husband, kids, mom and dad, or sisters, something they would truly love or make their life easier. I used to spend lots of money on gifts for these loved ones. However, I’ve come to realize that they are happy with whatever I give them, be it big or small, extravagant or simple, just so it’s given with love.

For the last few years my sisters and parents and I decided that we would keep gift giving to a minimum. My sister now donates money to a charity on our behalf. My other sister and I have started a tradition of baking biscotti and making truffles for everyone. This year we took the treats to them when we visited at Thanksgiving, further saving money by not having to mail anything.

I took a bunch of pictures at Thanksgiving, and will be making collages (via computer) and sending these to family members to enjoy all year.

I get as much joy out of giving these less expensive gifts, as I did giving more expensive ones—and have the bonus of saving time and money and not stressing out over finding the “perfect” gift. 

I think we all have people in the second category on our list—people who will not be happy no matter how much time, effort, and money is put into their gift. 

For many, many years I spent way too much time and energy trying to “please” one person in my family this way. I wanted him to like me, to appreciate what I did . . . but the most he did was to grunt and then throw my carefully chosen, expensive gifts, on the floor.

Several years ago I realized that I was never going to please him, and decided NOT to spend the time or energy or money on gifts for him anymore. In the spirit of Christmas we still give him gifts, just not extravagant ones, and not with the expectation of receiving thanks or appreciation for them.

We give gifts that are inexpensive and simple—homemade candy or soup mixes, gloves, a coffee mug, or office supplies—things that will be used and appreciated by another family member if the original recipient doesn’t. I’ve given him books that I think he’ll enjoy—books that I know I or other family members will enjoy if he isn’t interested in reading them! We also give framed photos that can be easily displayed, and perhaps will bring him some happiness.

Take the next step: Look at YOUR Christmas list. Who will appreciate any gift given with love? Who will NOT appreciate any gift? Take the pressure off yourself and your wallet—simplify!